ANONYMOUS Review (2 out of 5 stars)

I felt lost throughout ANONYMOUS: its editing is a train wreck, and its characters (and their loyalties) are easy to confuse, since they're referred to interchangeably by their titles and names. The roles of England's neighboring countries (Ireland, Spain, France) are perplexing. And the story's so poorly written, I couldn't keep track of who the actual genius playwright in the story was supposed to be, given the film's allegation that Shakespeare was a fraud.

The idea that Shakespeare didn’t write the material attributed to him is an interesting theory to ponder, but Sir Derek Jacobi's onstage soliloquy (as part of a modern, fictionalized play — Anonymous — presaging the tale to unfold) fails to support the claim with adequate context. Is this fantasy — an Oliver Stone-like conspiracy theory reshuffling of history for entertainment’s sake? Or is it credible speculation based on scholarly facts? You’ll have no idea if you didn’t read up ahead of time. And while the gaps in what we know of the great bard's life story may call his authorship into question, negatives still don't prove a positive — this abstrusely detailed "what if" is made up of guesses, coincidences and fictions...

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THE SKIN I LIVE IN Review (4 out of 5 stars)

We see a woman in a body stocking receive her meal by dumb waiter in a hermetically sealed room. Is she suffering from a rare disease? Is she a wealthy eccentric? Thus begins the torrent of questions you'll inevitably have in the opening moments of THE SKIN I LIVE IN, Spanish auteur Pedro Almodovar's newest creation.

The sprawling tale of murder, revenge, passion and surgical nightmares it unspools — from present day to years ago and back again — will answer each in time, drip drip. And while the big twist, which is one for the books, is presented in a less plausible way than can be imagined (which robs SKIN of some of its power), you're sure to be riveted, the marvelously unique story ensnaring you in a sticky web. Unsurprisingly, Spain's award-laden director has again summoned so much cream-of-the-crop talent to his side, including a trio of his favorite actors from work past...

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THE THING Review (2 out of 5 stars)

Finally, here it is: the prequel to John Carpenter's cult-classic 1982 horror film, the identically titled THE THING. The new one doesn't quite match up in quality, and its marketing materials' giveaway of so many adrenaline-pumping surprises doesn't help matters. (So don't watch them beforehand.) But it does cleverly and methodically set the stage for the Carpenter film, itself a remake of 1951's THE THING FROM ANOTHER WORLD, based on John W. Campbell Jr.'s 1938 novella, Who Goes There?

In the '82 film, an American team explores the burned-out wreckage of a Norwegian camp — the prequel tells the Norwegians' story, and it ends with the Carpenter film's iconic beginning, in which a Norwegian helicopter chases the alien (in wolf form) to the American outpost.

At the start of Dutch director Matthijs van Heijningen's feature film debut, the Norwegians follow an ominous radio signal into the wilds of Antarctica until their vehicle crashes through the ice, lodges in a crevasse and illuminates a spacecraft below.

Enter young paleontologist Kate Lloyd (Mary Elizabeth Winstead, listening to Huey Lewis in the one sign that this is the 80's). The Norwegians recruit Kate to help extract the craft's survivor from the ice nearby, its talons just visible beneath the surface. They haul it to camp, where cocky lead scientist Dr. Halvorson (Ulrich Thomsen) drills through the ice it's encased in for a tissue sample. Which is a bad move: the resulting cracks and building's higher temperature enable the beast to break free and begin to stalk, absorb and then replicate the camp's international denizens one by one. And so this team of Norwegian, American, French and British scientists and their helpers must carry out the nerve-wracking task of rooting out and destroying the alien within their ranks...

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TUCKER AND DALE VS. EVIL Review (1-1/2 out of 5 stars)

TUCKER AND DALE is a spoof on college-kid-slasher movies – the FRIDAY THE 13TH films (all fifty-six of them), CABIN FEVER, even BLAIR WITCH – and, like most of those, becomes boringly predictable from early on. Still, Tyler Labine (as Dale) and Alan Tudyk (as Tucker) have a ball playing the title characters, a duo of lovable hillbillies upending an all too often grotesque stereotype in popular entertainment. It's them and their hilarious one-liners that make my recollection of the film a bit warmer than I actually felt watching it in the theater; they alone could make this B-movie a cult classic.

The two are best buds in the West Virginian Appalachians and thrilled to spend some much-needed vacation time in a dilapidated, lakeside shack in the woods forty miles outside town. While stocking up on supplies at the local store – the drawling owner reads out their list of hilariously sinister purchases, which include a machete and chainsaw -- they encounter a gaggle of obnoxious, entitled college kids. The frat-tastic, boorish males and boobalicious, ditzy cheerleader types get an immediate, negative impression of the sweet-natured duo when Dale approaches them, cluelessly, with a Grim Reaper scythe in hand and asks between anxious giggles, "You guys goin' campin'?" His pseudo-psycho behavior is Tucker’s fault however, who gave him the questionable advice to hide his nervousness around women with laughter...

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TAKE SHELTER Review (3-1/2 out of 5 stars)

The wonderfully unique and beautifully shot TAKE SHELTER features performances by two gifted actors and images that will stay with you well beyond the theater. It's not easy to watch – the main character, Curtis (Michael Shannon) wakes gasping from nightmares of apocalyptic scenarios, people scrabbling for his daughter and leviathan-sized storms, and his life and relationships spiral from the envy of others to what may be the undiagnosed beginnings of schizophrenia. Indeed, the movie teeters on the brink of madness or annihilation or both, framed by a foreboding score full of weird, discordant notes, Curtis's agitation and spaced-out distraction, news of a chemical spill nearby and visions of birds falling from the sky, levitating furniture and furious twisters materializing on the horizon.

Working-class Curtis LaForche has a beautiful, loving wife Samantha (the incredible Jessica Chastain) and a six year-old, deaf daughter Hannah. His horrifying dreams seem to carry over into his waking life as he shudders at nonexistent thunderclaps or experiences excruciating pain from a dog bite that never actually happened. All these events convince him that doom is nigh. So he prepares for it, but doesn’t inform Samantha, first buying a shipping crate and then burying it in the back yard while she's selling hand-stitched wares at a local fair. He sinks every last bit of the already struggling family's savings into the underground shelter, and then takes a risky home loan to continue to finance it. He stocks up on canned food and gas masks. He installs electricity and plumbing and spends his nights there, eyes shut tight in thought. Hell does eventually break loose – not with the weather but those close to him, and most of all the woman he loves, in pain over being misled then ignored.

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50/50 Review (4-1/2 out of 5 stars)

50/50 successfully navigates a very tricky line between pathos and humor – and nails them both in the process. Joseph Gordon-Levitt knocks it out of the park as the main character Adam (possible Oscar nod, I'm thinking), Seth Rogen is wonderful as his loudmouth pal and Anna Kendrick, Anjelica Huston and Bryce Dallas Howard each rock in their respective roles. The film smacks of recognizable realness (especially when compared to another recent hipster-with-a-tumor show, Gus Van Sant's RESTLESS – which this leaves in the dust). It offers a new and refreshing take on cancer diagnosis and the daily, often banal squirms and struggles to follow, in a way that’s neither condescending nor sentimental nor cutesy. And the humor is delightful. It's even got a fantastic soundtrack. This "cancer comedy" – an idea that sounds so dreadful on its face – really wowed me in the end.

It's inspired by a true story, and written by the real-life Adam – Will Reiser – who's actually buddies with Rogen, meaning the latter reenacted his experiences. Adam is a writer for Seattle Public Radio, a cute, self-effacing, mellow guy thrown for a loop when the source of his back pain is revealed to be a tumor growing along his spine -- he thought it was due to his positions during sex. "I don’t smoke. I don’t drink… I recycle?" Alas, his cancer’s genetic.

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PUNCTURE Review (2 out of 5 stars)

PUNCTURE provides a great service in documenting the corruption surrounding an innocuous-sounding but important medical device: the safety syringe. Yet in the hands of a first-time screenwriter and co-directors, this cinematic retelling of the late Houston attorney Mike Weiss's (Chris Evans) gripping, uphill battle with insidious corporate forces in the late 90's falls into such an instantly recognizable formula that much of its entertainment potential is lost.

It begins with Vicky (Vinessa Shaw), a pretty, young local ER nurse, who accidentally sticks herself with a needle while attempting to sedate a shaking PCP addict. Then flash forward three years to the shirtless, rippled CAPTAIN AMERICA physique of Chris Evans as hotshot personal injury lawyer Weiss, snorting coke and speed-talking through a case in his hotel room.

And… I'm already bored. (And tempted to call their number, 1-888-GOT-PAIN.) It's already crystal clear that Evans is the anti-hero meant to grow on me (didn't happen) as he slugs away for justice. Tony Goldwyn's CONVICTION (2010) comes to mind, another gripping, true underdog story (Hilary Swank vs. small-town police corruption) and also sadly reduced to mediocrity. But similar to ERIN BROCKOVICH or THE CONSTANT GARDENER, PUNCTURE faces off with nasty, behemoth corporations – yet feels like a retread from the get-go.

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